Words Of We: 365 Days Of Hope

365 days to wake up and face another tomorrow.

56 of those days you may not want to get up at all. 75 of the other days you may move with low energy or a strong desire to stay home. Another 5 days where you lay on a floor sometimes asking yourself what are you even doing here. 10 days - happy. Maybe it isn’t so bad after all. Yet the remaining 210 days remain to be days running by default. Just running. Not much inside, just the calendar changing.

Multiply that year by 3 and then you ask yourself - what does this life even mean?

There was this 1 day. One day that happened this year. A day where the light flew right over your brain and showed you something. A small peace of hope. Just a tiny bit to ask yourself if that could be something to hold on to?

The same day happened a year ago; two years ago, and then some many more years ago as well. That tiny day brought you to the next, and then the next one brought you to a new year - all with that small hope in a tiny day from that big calendar.

You’ve realised there was something more worth living for. It may not always be clear but when the feeling shows you take it. You take it and you try to figure it out.

You go outside and you remember how great it feels to breathe with two nostrils. How great it is to drink a glass of water after walking for a few hours being completely thirsty. How great it feels to lay your head on the pillow after a long day. How great it is to hear someone say something you didn’t think they’d remember.

These small rewards to your physical sensors give meaning. A word from a stranger brings warmth & possibility. The end of the night gives something to look forward to in the morning.

Every day the clock resets to give you another chance. To try and to find that tiny hope.

It may not be much but it is enough to keep you going.

When that 247 day comes where you feel like the whole world is closing on you, close your eyes and dream away. Remember the tiny days that felt stable and make them vivid. Give yourself a chance to breathe and let the day pass.

Sometimes your whole life lays in the hands of a tiny day, you just have to wait it out.

Somewhere, on the other side of the world, or another, there’s a human having the same experience as you are. Both completely strangers to one another but united in struggle. When you both close your eyes, you dream of ease. Of comfort. Of meaning and hope.

Then there’s another one closing its eyes, at the same time thinking it must be only them - in a whole wide world - sinking into the ground with no way back up. They’re not alone. There’s 5 more feeling the same.

What if all of them would know one another and could call each other at the same time? Would it make it less difficult? More eye opening? Or would they not feel like that at all because they’d have one another to understand each other?

What if they don’t need to sink in order to survive? What if all that’s left to be done is to be heard and understood?

Perhaps those 365 days could turn into the days of gentle living. Being as you are with just some minimal downfalls, but more or so manageable.

And then those few tiny days that carried hope would turn into 150 hopeful days. Hopeful days for you. And then hopeful days for the other. The hope you carry is a mirror to someone who cannot see for themselves.

It’s blurry to see ahead when your eyes are teary. It’s hard to make a decision where to turn next when your hands are occupied with cleaning those tears away. Most importantly, it’s hard to enjoy the ride when you don’t even want to put the music on.

But that friend, or a hope, riding shotgun next to your right shoulder is what makes you forget all the worries and focus on the road ahead. They will push you to adventure. To take that next exit and see what’s out there. Maybe even keep you awake for the longer road ahead.

All because they care to see you smile and have you be with them those 365 days, not a day less.

Your greatest strength is your hope. Hope for the better days, and tomorrow. To wake up and to try again. To see past the failures and regrets, and try again. To hope is not to be stupid, it’s to hold tight on a rope that seems to be the only thing that keeps you alive. So be it. Believe in that hope and keep it alive so it keeps you alive. No one can take away hope from you except for you. Don’t rob yourself of a lifeguard that belongs to you. Leave it to function the way it was meant to and hang on to it for your dear life. That hope will bring you home to the shore right where you belong. May everyone also get a chance to be greeted by someone else’s hope of wanting you home.

Stay safe and make those 365 days.

Irma Vado

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